Toilet Talk Newsletter

Toilet Talk Newsletter: Be Healthy, BU


Spring 2016 Toilet Talk

By Laura Wysocki, UCC GA amd Randi Scheiner, PhD and UCC Psychologist 


Side 1

How to Help a Friend with an Eating Disorder

Learn about eating disorders. If you are worried that a friend may be struggling with an eating disorder, the first step is to educate yourself about the causes and symptoms.

What are the signs of eating disorders?

  • Eating alone or refusing to eat with others
  • Skipping meals
  • Eating a limited quantity of food, fasting, or avoiding specific foods
  • Constant talk about being fat, overly concerned about appearance
  • Rapid weight loss or weight gain
  • Over-exercise
  • Extreme guilt about eating
  • Isolating from friends for a long time after eating
  • Feeling out of control when eating/bingeing

Express your concerns in a non-judgmental way. When you do speak to your friend, it’s important to express yourself in a caring way. You should be firm and honest about what you see and what your concerns are, but don’t patronize them or criticize them.

Be prepared for defensiveness. Your friend may get very angry with you. Since the eating disorder may be an important coping mechanism, he/she may feel threatened that you are trying to take it away.

Know your limits and notify someone. It is helpful to take an active role in getting your friend help and information, such as medical care, counseling, nutritional counseling, and  in some cases, parental involvement.

Be patient. Once your friend is in treatment, don’t force him/her to talk about his or her eating disorder, emotional issues or treatment. Do offer to listen, however, if he or she wants to talk.

It is important to remember that the  habits surrounding eating disorders become firmly ingrained over time. For this reason, eating disorders cannot “go away” over the night. On the contrary, someone often has to go to counseling for some time before results become visible.

Be a good role model. Practice sensible eating, exercise, and self-acceptance in order to provide a healthy example for your loved one.

Remember that you cannot force someone to seek help, but you can be supportive, understanding, and informed about eating disorders and available resources.

Hints for Healthy Eating 

One of the best ways to help a friend with disordered eating, is to set a good example by taking care of yourself. Understanding  these basic nutritional guidelines can help get you started on the right path.

Eat every three to five hours. Eating throughout the day  ensures that you feel full enough to carry out things you need to do, and also prevents you from bingeing on unhealthy, processed foods because you’re starving..

Eat the appropriate number of calories. For women, this means consuming  approximately 2000 calories a day. Men should consume approximately 2600 calories a day.  Check out for more information.

There are no bad foods! While some foods should certainly be eating in moderation, there are no bad foods. Restricting your diet and trying to avoid certain foods (or food groups) can lead to bingeing, or other disordered eating habits.

Eat balanced meals. At each meal, have vegetables, a protein, and a starch. 



Side 2

How to Be Your Own Mentor 

Many of us struggle with self criticism. How often are we more compassionate to others than we are to ourselves?  We might think that we’re more motivated and successful when we’re hard on ourselves, but research has shown that the opposite is actually true; students tend to be less productive, or even give up when they are too hard on themselves and their expectations are too high. They are more successful when they are more encouraging.

Think back to your favorite teacher or coach growing up. How did this person motivate you? Was it through making rigid unrealistic demands? Probably not. Many of us feel most motivated by those who believe in us, and encourage us to keep trying.

In general, we learn more and perform better when  we have a “growth” mindset—we acknowledge we have a learning  curve, but we believe in ourselves and our ability to improve over time.

If you tend to be your own worst critic, there are steps you can take to develop more positive self talk.

1. Become more aware of your thought patterns

Start to become mindful of your own thoughts and the messages you tell yourself. Notice patterns in your self talk. Are you encouraging or are you critical?

In order to start to be more mindful, it can be helpful to think back to recent times in which you have experienced a lot of stress or anxiety.  Usually, such feelings are prompted by events. However, it is how we interpret these events that ultimately leads to our emotional reactions. Try to look back at previous times of stress in order to assess your self talk in difficult situations.

2. Label your inner critic

Once you start paying more attention to the negative messages your critic is telling you, you will likely to begin to notice a theme.  Here are common pitfalls (with examples) that people tend to experience:

  • All or nothing thinking: I have too much work to do, so I won’t even start.
  • Catastrophic Thinking: If I get a poor grade I won’t ever get a job.
  • Emotional Reasoning: I feel like I’m not intelligent, so I can’t be very smart.
  • Shoulds and Musts: I should be able to maintain a 4.0.  

3. Think of alternate thoughts

When you realize you are  being overly critical of yourself, try to reframe your negative thoughts.

Think of examples of positive self talk by asking yourself some of the following questions

  • What would my good teacher/coach/parent/friend/therapist say?
  • Would I talk to my friends this way?
  • Is this thought 100 percent true?

It is especially helpful to develop realistic expectations of one’s self. Some examples of more positive self talk can include:

  • I won’t be able to finish all my work if I start now, but I will be able to accomplish something.
  • One grade does not determine what kind of student I am, and it will not impact my future.
  • I feel like I’m not very intelligent right now,  but there have been times when I felt differently.
  • This one experience does not mean I’m not smart.
  • I would like to maintain a 4.0, but I might not be able to. Regardless, I will do the best I can.

4. Practice, practice, practice

Changing thoughts and behavior takes time! Be patient and continue practicing. It may feel unusual at first, but the more aware you are of how you think, and practice thinking more realistically, the more motivated you will be.

This article was written by Laura Wysocki and Randi Scheiner, PhD and was adapted from a presentation done by UCC Psychologist Kate Shinko at an Eating  Awareness Committee event in Fall 2015. For more information about upcoming EAC events, please see our website at:


Fall 2015 Toilet Talk

By Laura Wysocki, UCC GA amd Randi Scheiner, PhD and UCC Psychologist 


Side 1

Understanding Sexual Assault on College Campuses

Many students may not receive education about sexual assault before beginning their college careers. In order to gain a better understanding of sexual assault on college campuses, we interviewed interns from the 20:1 Sexual Assault Prevention Program, 20:1 Bystander Intervention Program, and Interpersonal Violence Prevention Program.
What is consent?
New York State law defines consent as "a knowing, voluntary, and mutual decision among all participants to engage in sexual activity."
Matt Wiener: Consent is not the absence of a 'no,' but the presence of a 'yes.'
Emma Roseval: Before this internship, I didn't realize that even if you're in a relationship, you need consent every time.
What role do you think alcohol plays in sexual assault on college campuses?
It is important to note that if someone is incapacitated (by alcohol, drugs, etc), then they cannot give consent. A person that sexually assaults someone who is incapacitated is solely responsible for the assault. Signs of incapacitation include slurring words and staggering. Whether you are engaging in a sexual act with a boyfriend or girlfriend or just engaging in a casual hookup, it is important to be mindful of signs of incapacitation.
Melinda Momplaisir: I think alcohol is used as an excuse to blame victims instead of giving the perpetrator the responsibility. A lot of victims will blame themselves if they were drunk and then they won't report it.
About half of sexual assaults involve alcohol. Research on male perpetrators has indicated that alcohol itself does not cause one to become sexually aggressive, but may exacerbate preexisting feelings of sexual aggression (Abbey, 2015).

What do you think most college students fail to realize about sexual assault?
Melinda Momplaisir: Many people view sexual assault as something that's done by the person in the shadows. A lot of people don't realize that sexual assault isn't just intercourse, but can be anything from a kiss to an unwanted touch.
Acts of sexual assault are not necessarily violent. Coercion is common in cases of sexual assault. Coercion occurs when a perpetrator places pressure on , or threatens, their partner. Coercion can be physical or verbal. It can be as blatant as physical restraint or take more subtle forms that try to exploit the nature of a relationship, i.e. "If you love me, you'll have sex with me."
What's the most important thing you've learned through your internship?
Jean Krebs: When you experience sexual assault, often times the trauma isn't isolated to that event. It can cross over to your school life and your social life. Even if you feel like you're over it, you should still seek out help to process what happened.
For more information on these internships and other programs, go online:



Side 2

Creating Healthy Habits

In researcher Charles Duhigg's book The Power of Habit, the author explains the importance of habits, how habits are formed, and how we can change our habits or create new ones in order to live healthier, more productive lives.
The Purpose of Habits
From a neurological perspective, habits emerge because the brain is constantly trying to save energy. The basal ganglia – the area of the brain responsible for storing habits – commits many habits, some of which we aren't even conscious of. This allows the rest of our brain to be available for other, more novel tasks that require energy. In our lives, habits help us complete daily tasks with more efficiency. Habits, if used correctly, can also help us work toward and achieve goals.

How Our Habits are Formed

Habits are formed through an ongoing loop: First, there is a cue that tells your brain to carry out an activity that has become automatic. Then, there is a physical, mental, or emotional routine. Finally, there is a reward which helps your brain decide if this behavior is worth committing to memory in the form of a habit. Habits never completely disappear; they're encoded into the structure of our brain. This is why we don't have to relearn how to drive after going on vacation!An example of a habit all of us have (hopefully) formed is brushing our teeth. Each morning, we automatically place toothpaste on our toothbrush and go through the process of cleaning our teeth. As a reward, we get the refreshing feeling we've come to associate with this habit.

How to Create New Habits
On a physiological level, habits are created to satisfy a neurological need or craving. New habits are created by creating a cue, routine, and reward, and cultivating a craving that drives the loop. For example, many people begin exercising because of a whim - more free time, need for stress reduction, etc. They continue exercising because working out produces a reward they start to crave, such as increased energy, physical strength, or positive mood.
How to Change Old Habits
In order to change our old habits, we must determine the cues that prompt the routine behavior we are trying to change. For example, you might want to stop snacking while you study. First, you need to understand what's causing you to snack to begin with. Are you seeking to satisfy hunger? Or do you want a break from studying? If you determine that you snack for a quick break (meaning that you are not actually hungry, just overworked)then it is easier to replace that routine with another behavior that produces the same reward, such as taking a short walk around the library or taking a few minutes to watch a funny video online. Once you understand the purpose that a habit is serving, you're well on your way to changing it! By identifying the cues and rewards surrounding your habit, you will be more able to establish a new routine.


Side 2

Developing Better Study Habits

In order to gain a better understanding of how to form better study habits, we spoke to Alaina Ryan from the Binghamton University Discovery Center. She provided us with the following insights:

Plan Ahead: "At the start of each week, students can sit down and write a list of everything they need to get done that week: readings, homework assignments, making flashcards, studying, etc. The next step is to divide that list down into parts they can reasonably accomplish in one block of time. For some students that's 25 minutes, for other students it's 45 minutes. "

Establish a Routine: "Creating a routine that works for the student is very important. That's why it's important for students to be very realistic with themselves.  It's also  important for students to reward themselves after they complete tasks. This can be something like listening to their favorite music for 5 minutes, watching some funny Youtube videos, having a snack, or taking a quick walk."








Last Updated: 8/17/16