Guide for dialogue
Quick reminders
- Listen first - Try to understand their perspective; follow up with clarifying questions
- Engage others - Try not to dominate the discussion
- Be aware of body language - Try to avoid crossing arms or mimicking
- Respectfully disagree - Discuss ideas and issues, not people
- Avoid insults - No name calling
- Speak for yourself - Use "I" phrases; rephrase and summarize what you've heard
Intergroup dialogue
Goal: to work toward understanding, not necessarily to reach agreement
Tips to effectively engage in dialogue:
- Reflect, connect, act
- Honor silence
- Listen to understand, hold space and don't interrupt
- Do not dismiss questions
- Provide a sense of safety
- Exercise empathy and humility
- Ask questions and allow them to be asked of you
- Allow everyone the opportunity to speak
- Build and be a model for positive relationships
- Explore conflicts from multiple perspectives
- Encourage trust and respect among participants
Difficult conversations
Before beginning a dialogue, it is helpful to establish ground rules that the group collectively agrees to follow. Suggested ground rules:
- Be aware of how much space you take up in the conversation and especially how that intersects with your privileged identities; share the air time with others
- Listen for understanding, not to "win"
- Do not expect that everyone will always agree
- Critique ideas, but avoid personal attacks; dehumanizing others and making personal attacks should not be tolerated
- Challenge yourself to learn something new and ask questions when something is unclear
- Create a space for students to speak honestly and openly but also a space for students to acknowledge when someone's words are hurtful